The Missing 'Calderon'

Scent of perfumed candles burning. I'm reminded 'all souls' but rather think 'the departed'. Suddenly sentimental, sadness slowly wells up in this blog.

It was probably in one of those years when the mumu and the pheasant were a fading fashion; passe were the bandana and the fishnet, the a-go-go veil and the harana. The mini was in vogue as hotpants was yet to be "in" -- I'm not sure. But the tiss hairstyle gives away clues of flower people and psychedelic colors, yet monochrome was then the usual language of photos expressed by Kodak or Pentax SLRs, bulbs flashed or not. In those years.

 

Photo grabbed from cousin Susie's fb page



So, that's what the picture in this post paints.

And whether in a thousand or in 909 words, it still cannot account for the story behind the black-and-white Calderon Family Picture: scene internal,  old house in Vergara, possibly daytime. Lola Fortunata (my cousins call her Nanay Ata), the matriarch/ mother seated, her children posed behind.

Shot long before the MV Edisco sank off Corregidor and the June-typhoon'd sea snatched Auntie Mameng (second from left) which brought my mother to an almost hysterical distress the early morning radio commentator Roger Arienda berated the lost victims then still being searched for in the waters of Corregidor. I could well remember Arienda's harsh voice radiowaves brought all the way to our Pasig home: "Bumabagyo na nga, excursion pa!" In tears, mother swore not to tune in to the loudmouth announcer ever again.

Same promise to an insensitive distant neighbor, who "guaranteed" that Auntie wouldn't stand a chance against the waves... and the sharks. Already in pain, mother's sobs couldn't hide her subdued rage, and perhaps, my quiet, sympathetic presence  anticipating breakfast prevented her from completely breaking down. I could only sense she was of desperate hope for her missing sister. So the kid that was I.

Back to the family pic. What's missing in this picture? Or... who's missing from the picture?

I'm not sure if Lola Ata chastised her children for going through with the picture-taking when the family was not complete. And if she did, I wonder if it was by the manner which, as a story and as a lecture my mother instilled in us: That, growing up with her sisters in the pre-war years when Lola Ata would at times scold them, Lola would shout out their names one by one, as if on roll-call, for all the neighbors to hear. Naturally, the girls, prim and proper and in pre-war modesty, pleaded their mom that their names not be called out.

Lola Ata for sure  didn't insist on a 'roll-call' before the photo-shoot, even if a daughter didn't show up.  This old photograph proved to be a family picture anyway, despite one Calderon missing. So, who was she?

Name's Lourdes, my mother. And we, her children, called her Nanay.