Lao Write

. :reprint of an old blog:
.Please Don't Rush

Am on my third week in this ever-mysterious LaoPDR where Party-ists Delay Remuneration for working expats. Such an enigma this slow and sleepy place, where you see not the jeepney but the 100cc motorcyle taking the role of the king of the road, where suicidal youth race toward hell along poorly lit roads as soon as the sun comes down -- when that "PDR" that tenaciously clings to this country's name could only mean "Please Don't Rush". Such a paradox this impoverished and improvised socialist country -- where shining and glowing brand new cars (brand new benzes, hondas, toyotas, pickups, vans and 4wd’s!) almost outnumber 3-wheeler tuktuks (tricycles) in narrow one-way streets.

The Lonely Planet quotes the French who may have nothing good to say about this PDR, one of their former colonies (well, the whole of Indochina was once theirs): "The Vietnamese plant the rice. The Cambodians watch it grow. Laotians LISTEN to it grow."

Still from the Lonely Planet, this is even funnier: When the communists took power in the 70’s, they adopted "Peace, Unity, Indpendence, Prosperity" as the state slogan. In the late 80’s, they dropped the word "Prosperity" in favor of "Socialism". Funny really. Prosperity vs socialism? ... well, there’s the World Bank and ADB to ask. These two institutions may have even more ridiculous answers.

Here in Vientiane, the capital city which hosts the presidential palace and mansions of bureaucrats, almost every street corner is a spot for a Wat (Buddhist temple we call pagodas). And I guess, just like in Myanmar, Wats mushroom all over this country. Lotsa Wats and few policemen. But mind you, I have yet to see another cop who tote a gun. The "gun ban" must be in place here -- but don’t hope for any election to take place, huh. So what’s my drift here? There are few cops and you’d think no one’s watching you? Of course, aside from street-corner Wats, you get a feeling that everybody is Wat-ching you. Few policemen? Think again. In this garrison state, everyone must be a cop!

A badly designed poster splattered with id-size pictures of whom I think are officials of the hammered-and-sick(led) party here, you’d see no one among the many male faces (understated "many") and 2, yes two, women, smiling.  Seems they’re so afraid to show even a little white part of their teeth, what with Wats watching.

But I do smile everytime I see the hammer and sickle emblem hoisted, windswept on poles fronting buildings and the morning market. It's quite a sight for my camera. It's rare to see such flags, like the Swastika, visible to the public and tourists' lens. I rejoice being fence-sitting, video-shooting witness to what seems to be a Vietnamese-inspired societal improvisation. Or,  Improvs-inspired stand-up comedy?

++++++++++++++
My Kind of Town

Have just spent one week in Luang Prabang, a fantastic town 35 minutes by plane from Vientiane, unbelievable in its serenity with its lush green surroundings, a preserved old look punctuated by many ancient temples a block apart from the other (a couple sit atop separate mountains) -- a sight to behold from the air.

And yes the air! Despite the numerous road improvements and construction going on around the town, Prabang provides you a kind of retiree-tourist sense of safety, or gives you a stimulant for a meditative hippie-backpacker trip. That's an assurance without having yet to savor local delicacies such as Kam Peng and Chonboung! Luang Prabang must be your kind of town.

Am now in the Laotian south, in Thakhek, Koummon province. My effort to doze off thwarted time and again by what stares me in the face. Affected, I couldn’t help but pound on the keys of my pentium 4 ½ laughtop (intel outside) and key in verbatim the words written in the plastic-laminated bill posted on my bedside wall in this guesthouse called Thenkamchin hotel.

Read with me please:

FOR PRINCIPLES AND PROTECTION THE HOTELS-GUESTHOUSES.
.
FOR WARNING YOU AND PROTECTION YOUR RIGHT, SERVICE TO STAY IN THE HOTELS-GUESTHOUSES, THERE ARE DIRECTION TO THE FOLLOWING PRINCIPLES:

Article 1: TO FORBID THINGS THAT ILLEGAL, WITHIN HOTELS AND GUESTHOUSES.
Article 2: IN THE HOTEL GUESTHOUSES, DO NOT HAVE MAN AND WOMAN SLEEP TOGETHER, THE ROOM IF THEY HAVE NOT HUSBAND AND WIFE, FATHER, MOTHER, DAUGTHER AND SON.
Article 3: IN THE HOTEL GUESTHOUSE, DO NOT PLAY GAMBLE OR DOING OTTHERS.
Article 4: DO NOT BOIL AND I RON IN THE HOTEL GUESTHOUSE.
Article 5: DO NOT USE NOISE AND DISTRUB IN THE HOTEL-GUESTHOUSE
Article 6: IF YOU HAVE MANYTHINGS YOU HAVE TO REPORT WITH AUTHORITY OF HOTEL-GUESTHOUSE KNOWS, AND FOR SAFETY.
Article 7: BEFORE GO OUTSIDE YOU MUST LOOK AT YOUR THINGS FOR SAFETY
Article 8: BEFORE GO OUTSIDE EVERY TIME YOU MUST LOCK YOUR DOOR OR YOUR MUST TAKE YOUR KEY TO GIVE AUTHORITY WHEN YOU COME BACK YOU MUST IT AGAIN.
Article 9: LIMIT OF YOUR STAYING 12 HOURS ONLY. IF OVER THE HOTEL-GUESTHOUSE WILL COMPUTE FOR NEXT TIME OF NEW DAY.

MENU:
1) Vegetables top naked
2) Chicken baked
3) Fish boiled a minute
4) Cuttle fish boiled a minute
5) Bowel's pig boiled a minute
6) Lump of crab spicy boiled a minute
7) Shrimps in fish-sauce
8) Roasted fishs
9) Baked heels
10) Baked ray
11) Gai's maw a boiled minute
12) Mouse-fly's a boiled minute
13) Roe-deer a boiled minute
14) Minced boar with spicy and vegetables
15) Fried three appetites fish
16) Fried morning gory
17) Deep fried shrimps with powder
18) Deep fried egg
19) Three crispy with hot & sour salad
20) Snake fish with hot & sour
21) Five appetites snake fish soap

Did I say earlier on that Luang Prabang must be your kind of town? Well… this place called Thakhek is MY kind of town. Article 2 shall make me a sacristan; Menu number 5 will make me more human.

<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>
And in Leena Guesthouse, Savannakhet Town
Please read:
"Regulation to the guest who come to stay.
staying at hotel or guest house to attach guest include foreign and country guests. Come to stay
In order to tidy the sociality and safety -- peace to guest who come to stay also in sure to the way policy nation to the widest tourism in Lao PDR.
Leena guest house had to imposed regulation for acting acceptance as following:
1. Touris, visiting of the guard had to back the hotel or guest house before 12 o'clock.
2. When you check in the hotel or guest house, have to bring your passport, documents to the reception section or receptionist.
3. Guest house will not responsible for your valuable have left in the room if necessary please deposit to the reception section or receptionist.
4. Prohibit to bring any procession in the hotel or guest house that illegality. Including other weapons exception the officer authorities military who's allowed to get licence to hold a gun only.
5. Disallowed to apply any dopes or betting in the hotel or guest house.
6. Everytime you get in and get out please locked your room then bring the key room the receptionist before you leaving out of the room.
7. Checking out the guest house, hotel always before 12:00 oclock in the afternoon and inspected all your belongings before you get out of the room.
8. Forbid to get everything in the room that belong to hotel guest house, when you checking out the hotel, guesthouse.
9. Please meet your guests at the reception room before you get allowed from the staff of hotel, guest house.
10. If anyone not to perform the regulation, will get penalty to put on trial by law."
CHEERS!